RosseMary came for a visit today.  She lives in La Paz, and the bus ride takes approximately three - four hours, depending on the type of bus and how many stops it makes.   She knocked on my cabin door around 10.45 am and, as my room was about to be cleaned, we went outside to chat. We sat on some rocks in a sunny spot beside the gum tree grove. Then we walked into town for lunch. This takes about 25-30 minutes.   Lunch has become my main meal of the day. 

It’s a bit tough being a vegetarian in Bolivia. There’s a wide choice of meats from guinea pig (the delicacy) and alpaca to the normal range of beef, lamb, pork, chicken and of course, masses of fish, especially trout.   In the previous few days I had visited four different restaurants with their main vegetarian choice being vegetable lasagne!  I didn’t really want another one!

However, wonders of wonders!  RosseMary knew of a better restaurant, La Cupola, high up on the hills, where they offered a far more comprehensive menu, for much the same price, around $US5 per meal. It was a beautiful day and I managed to climb up to the higher altitude with ease.  We sat on the restaurant verandah in the sun with a fabulous view of the bay and ate a nourishing and most enjoyable meal.  The best I’ve had in this country so far.   The good news is they are open for lunch every day!  Guess where I’ll be going most days?  I’ll be really fit by the time I return home to Australia.   There’s also another really good restaurant, La Orilla, that hasn’t been open for lunch since I’ve been here this time.   However they will open at 4.00pm this evening so guess where I’ll be eating today?   It gets really cold as soon as the sun goes down so I’ll be there at 4.00pm.

I’ve decided that these blogs are to form a book.  I have three nearly completed books in my computer and I came here to complete at least one of them.   And now I find myself starting another!   Yeah- right!  Am I a glutton for writing or what?  One book is an astrology text book on the aspects in a birth chart and is so close to completion I can probably finish it in a couple of days. That leaves the other two.   Maybe this blog approach will encompass parts or all of one or both of them?  I’ll see what unfolds. 

17^th September

I did a strange thing last night - strange for me, that is!   After RosseMary left I wandered home and all I wanted to do was sit in the sun.  I have three sawn-off logs on the northern side of my cottage and this is where I like to sit.  Contemplating until the sun begins to sink low in the sky.

Following a light snack I decided to put on my pyjamas. At 6.30pm at night!  Never have I done this before, in my adult life anyway.  There have always been some dishes to wash, dog to feed and walk, or notes to write.

Here the only responsibility is to nurture me – and it seems foreign.  I succumb and feel like a naughty child.   I climb into bed, giggling, and start re-reading the book Sonia lent me - EAT PRAY LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert.   I love the way she writes- so breezy and free.  I relate to her journey, as it seems similar to mine.  She too learned astrology and was devoted to her spiritual path.  She too spent time in India and Bali as I have done.  I also spent time in Italy, but not to eat, although I did enjoy that part of it.

It was an interesting night.  During a seemingly large part of it I experienced wave after wave of vague impressions and images of soul memories.  It was as if my soul had decided to open up its ancient underwater treasure chest of memories to allow floating globules of information to bubble up to the surface of my consciousness for me to consciously view and experience.   It was as if these bubbles coalesced into a stream of unprocessed photographic images, somewhat like reels of old movies.  Even though I got up to pee about four times, drank water and rolled around changing positions in bed, the movies continued.

So I decided to become a conscious participant.  I’m used to lucid dreaming and changing situations in dreams where appropriate but this time was different.  I saw how, over countless number of lifetimes I had played the role of teacher/nurturer and nourisher of souls.  Just like a mother hen, caring for, and clucking over, her many chicks in the chook yard, eventually wearing myself out in the process.

As a Cancer sun this has been my role again this life.  Many times I wore myself out. And now I was at a place where balance needed to be restored.

Sometime during the night I also became aware of a great tower crumbling and falling to earth.  The image of The Tower in the tarot cards came to mind.   Before a complete re-birth can take place the tower containing old psychological dross must crumble.

The movie ended.  I felt a new energy, child-like and creative, emerging from the ashes of the past.  Something natural, spontaneous and care-free.  A ‘birthing’ is imminent. I receive an intuitive impulse as I’m writing this.  This ‘something’ will be birthed at the September Equinox, when the Earth is in complete balance.  

After resting in peace a final image, this time in bright technicolour, was shown to me.  It was very, very clear.  I often receive these images.  I call them snapshots in time. This snapshot was of an old watch I like to wear, given to me years ago by my son.

This watch, gold plated, was covered with bright green and blue corrosion.  The intuitive understanding was “Time corrodes memories yet the essence remains”. I understand this to mean that the story of the memories corrodes but the essence of the experience remains.   This is why the old movie reels were faded and unclear.  What mattered was the true essence.

Last night, just as I had completed my writing for the day, had eaten a light meal, and was thinking about getting into my pyjamas so I could get into bed to keep warm and read my book, (It’s really cold here at night!) a knock came at the door. I opened it to a stranger and one new friend. My girl friend was from Pisaq in the sacred valley of Peru and I first met her when staying at PazyLuz hostel with Hetty three weeks ago.  In fact she’s Hetty’s off sider and backstop.  What a pleasant surprise!   

The stranger was from Canada, spending time in the Andes on a spiritual quest as so many thousands of others are doing now.  She is participating in a series of spiritual initiations with a local Peruvian shaman along with a group of international participants.    The two women had met in the bus coming to Copacabana and Brenda, from Canada, is going to spend time at PazyLuz in mid October.  How small is this world?  We had a great chat and today I’m meeting my friend for lunch.  It’s obviously the time for me to play a bit! And I’m very much looking forward to it!  Brenda is off boating, to visit the Isle of the Sun for the day, and it is such a beautiful day for her adventure.  Tomorrow my friends RosseMary and Eduardo are coming to visit.   I definitely feel it’s playtime.  I’ve actually finished the first draft of my book so feel I’ve done really well.  And it’s not even a month since I’ve been in the Andes.

29^th September.  

Today I am feeling so much better than the previous two days. I spent most of those in bed, really feeling quite ill.  It’s not like me to be sick, nor to spend days in bed, so there was something going on below the surface of my consciousness.    

The problem was a deep, penetrating pains in my chest and lungs.  My throat was also sore and I was coughing.  I know the altitude was affecting me but I had been OK for the previous few days so there had to be another reason.   My chest felt as if it had a half tonne rock placed on it that I couldn’t dislodge.  During the second day in bed I realized the pain was connected to a past life memory.

Because my soul memories are very close to the surface of my consciousness I’m able to access them quite easily - the joyous ones and the not so happy ones. It’s a bit like some people feel a sensation of dejavu when traveling to a special place. They know they’ve been there before in some other place and time.    In the ten years I’ve been coming here I’ve had many such experiences, a lot of them incredibly joyous. 

However, there was one that was much more excruciatingly painful than this so I’ve got much to be thankful for.   That very memorable occasion was when I first travelled by boat on Lake Titicaca.  We were drawing close to two islands on the Peruvian side of the lake and I was feeling happy, excited and 100% well.    And then, suddenly, for not explainable reason, I felt this excruciating pain all around my waist.  It doubled me up and I nearly passed out.  However, I somehow knew it was an ancient soul memory so I asked one of the group members to help me uncover it.   I also knew that, when I had understanding of it, the pain would cease.    And so it was.  It didn’t take long.   I had been deliberately drowned and tossed overboard with a heavy rope around my waist, tied to a huge rock.  This was apparently because I was about to reveal some information that the ‘powers that be’ didn’t want exposed, or released.   So goodbye to whoever I was then!

So here I was again – suffering the pain of yet another ancient experience.   This time I was on my own so needed to become conscious of cause myself.   This was not difficult and the information floated into to me in waves.  Whilst lying down, covered by three heavy blankets, I was guided to review my astrology chart in my mind, and to re-visit the transits I am experiencing in order to make greater sense of this reality.  When the picture was clear the pain immediately subsided.  It left me with a broader understanding of the theme running in that previous life.  The theme this time was similar to the previous experience so no wonder I felt so attracted to this particular area.  I felt I also dislodged some ancient grief.   This morning all pain had gone.  Not one remnant left!   However, I don’t feel as strong as I know I will tomorrow.  Over my years of accessing these deep memories I’ve realized that many soul-healing processes take three days to complete (metaphorically indicating the time period of the crucifixion and resurrection).

The night before I travelled by bus to Copacabana I had a dream that now makes sense to me.  I was having a restless night with very strange rocking sensations going on in my body.  In the dream I was in a maze, looking for something or someone.  I felt myself winding back’ the clock of time’ to find - a former aspect of myself.   That dream certainly correlates with my recent experience.  I wonder who is this someone from the deep past I’m to find and re-embrace?  Maybe these blogs will become a book in the form of memoirs?

There was also a tremendous thunderstorm on the night I started to feel ill.  It’s not yet the time for heavy rains but they came anyway!  I have Perspex sheeting over the bathroom area of my little cottage and I felt as if the raindrops were incredibly large.   They were!  I awakened the next morning to see all the roofs and land around the eco-lodge blanketed in white.   Hail stones!  Since then the days have been sunny and beautiful.  There is always a cool breeze that blows off the lake and its wonderful to find a sheltered spot to sit and reflect.  Temperatures seem to range from about 2 degrees centigrade in the early morning to 18-20 degrees by about 2.00pm. 

Following the storm I had another dream.  In it I saw three dogs jumping through three narrow rectangular slots in a wall to be with me.  What intuitively came to mind was the pictograph of the Triple Moon Goddess, with her three dogs. In the dream mine were small, because I prefer small dogs I guess.  I wonder if anything more will unveil itself relating to this myth?

Over my many years of inner research I’ve learned that the body never lies.   Our brain does because it’s full of programmed information that we have learned from other people.  The body knows the truth and it contains cellular memory.   So what is this causal truth I’m to uncover and reveal?  I’m certainly not going to die for it this time around!  Am I to dig it up both inside and outside of me?

I love following clues to uncover mysteries. It’s an exciting adventure into the unknown. Mostly the clues I uncover are inside of me, as soul memories.  Sometimes they show themselves as vague sensations, feelings and sometimes emotions, especially the joyous ones.

16^th September

According to the bible on the seventh day of creation God rested.   Numerologically number seven carries this symbolism.  My cabin number is seven and it is a perfect place to rest, write, read, review and reflect.

Last night I met the manager of the Eco Lodge, Carlos, who had only just arrived from a few days in the capitol of La Paz.  After chatting to him for some time I asked if he knew anything about the ancient history of this place because I felt it was very special.  He seemed to be taken aback by my question and then said that one of his former guests, a Canadian man, had told him the same.  He said that he felt it was an ancient site, possibly pre-Inca and maybe even pre-Aymara.  (Aymara is the language and culture of the local indigenous people.  I read somewhere that it was one of the most ancient languages).   I told him I felt the same.   He then proceeded to show me a large pile of ancient rocks and fossils found when some of the buildings were being constructed.   I intend to look at them very carefully in the day light and I feel sure Eduardo will be very interested indeed. 

Weeks ago, when I was back home in Australia, thinking about the things I would pack in my suitcase to bring on this adventure, I felt very strongly I needed to bring my gardening gloves. Gardening gloves?  I love to garden and create beauty.  I’m also very resourceful with my planting.   I decided against bringing a gardening trowel, because of the extra weight, however here I am, living in my little cottage with a pair of gardening gloves.  Am I crazy? 

Last night Carlos told me that a major gardening project was being planned to begin next month, when the rains are expected.   They will be digging up the earth to create gardening beauty.  I offered to help.   I wonder what we will dig up?    There’s obviously something going on.  I really enjoy following my inner prompts and uncovering clues because this makes life so exciting.    I have no idea where they will lead and that’s part of following the mystery trail.

 Ashtara

The day of the recent Full Moon in Pisces I arrive in Copacabana, a small fishing village on the shores of Lake Titicaca high in the Andean mountains. I am following a Piscean dream and spiritual calling.  And that is to give myself lots of time to allow new writing to emerge.  This was a spiritual directive given some years ago, which I politely ignored. However, I’ve realized it doesn’t serve me to ignore! The directives only come spasmodically and have taken me to many exciting places around the world. Why would I ignore this one?  Simple answer – fear!

So, towards the end of last year things began to stagnate in my world.  I was not as light and joyful as normal. I felt the presence of the Lord of Time and Karma, Saturn, and allowed ancient fears, burdens and limitations to consume.  When I said that “enough is enough” and decided to act upon the “calling” he decided to move on, to play in other people’s fields.  Lesson learned! There really wasn’t much option! I bet he’s got a huge grin on his face and a sense of accomplishment!

Titicaca is the highest navigatible lake in the world, situated at approximately 4000 metres above sea level.  The air is thin.  It always takes a few days for me to adjust to the high altitude even though it is now such a familiar area.   So I spent the past eleven days at a lower altitude, in Peru, mostly visiting in the Sacred Valley, staying with friends Hetty, see www.PazyLuz.com and Sonia, who is doing amazing humanitarian work- www.LivingHeart.org

I also had a lovely time in Cusco visiting Teresa, Enrique and their three children one of whom, Alison Camilla, is my goddaughter.  I so enjoyed playing with the kids and they me.  It was fun.   

Bolivian friend and former tour guide RosseMary was at the bus stop in Copacabana (not the Brazilian one) to meet me.  We danced and hugged as we embraced.  I love her and she me.  She is a wise old soul who speaks English very well indeed. Her life is devoted to her spiritual path and three children.  She is a single Mum bringing up three boys, one of whom is a teenager. She works with the Bolivian spiritual elders and also leads spiritual groups to sacred places in Bolivia, especially those around and on the lake. Many years ago I helped her to gain the confidence to be a tour guide and form her own company, Andean Dimensions, and now she is much sought after. 

In Australia two years ago Nuria gave me a generous donation to help poverty stricken schools in both Peru and Bolivia. Fredy Conde, my former Peruvian tour guide, found a needy school in Peru last year. Since then he has worked hard to ensure that school has the amenities he felt they needed. This is the second school I’ve helped in Peru with him.

And there is a nearby Bolivian village that really grabbed my heart. My group visited this school last year and itemised all the things that were needed.  Basics such as the repair of broken windows and doors that didn’t shut were provided, as was a cupboard for the teacher and textbooks for the children.  The teacher, who travels to this little village each week from La Paz, the Bolivian capitol, didn’t have a cupboard, desk, books, mat on the bare board floor, or any teaching material.  She was the only teacher and therefore responsible for the education of 20 plus children, of all ages.

 The list concocted by us in co-operation with the teacher was quite long. RosseMary took charge to make sure it was all accomplished.  I will be visiting this school during my sixty-seven day stay here. And am really looking forward to it.   My archaeologist Bolivian friend Eduardo is preparing a detailed report of all that has been accomplished there and I hope to put it on my website. He doesn’t speak English so there might be a few challenges with language.

So here I find myself in a relatively new and well-appointed ecologically built cabin in Copacabana situated on the shores of Lake Titicaca.  My second home is built from nearby stone, raw mud and straw.  Most of the cabins have solar heating.  Mine - not yet. I was lucky to have a choice of cabins and I chose this, the smallest, just because it feels right.  www.ecocopacabana.com 

I’m sitting at my computer writing this blog, with a beautiful view of the lake, much as I have at my home in Australia, although the lake I have there is much, much smaller than here.    Surrounding me are a grove of eucalypt trees.  I have a new home amongst the gum trees and this delights me. The Australian song “Give me a home among the gum trees, with lots of plum trees” etc. etc.  (Can’t think of the remaining lines just yet!).

Many years ago, when I first visited Copacabana, I stood at the shore looking and feeling.  I said to my companions that I felt there was something very special, perhaps an ancient sacred site, at the south/eastern end of the lake.  Where I am now.  Each consecutive year I have visited here the feeling was the same.  It wouldn’t go away. And now I am living here.   Yesterday, whilst RosseMary and I were chatting, I mentioned this to her.  She trusts my feelings because they have led us into very special situations and places, so she listened.  We walked to the site where I felt the energy most strongly, just behind and to the side of my cottage, in a grove of eucalypt trees. She then starting picking up some of the rocks nearby and then looked at the them archeologically.  She began to feel excited.  She wants to bring Eduardo here so he can investigate.  This afternoon I took a stroll into the nearby village and then, on my return, looked at the bigger picture of this site geographically, as I’ve been trained to do. I think I’ve got it!   It lines up with two other ancient and special feminine sacred sites.  What will unveil itself?

Ashtara

13^th September 2011